I’m not popular, my social circle is actually rather small.
I mean yeah, I’ve got friends. And I do know a lot of people; like, we acknowledge each other’s existence.
However, most of them are people who I know very little about.
Our relationship is rather special.
We do not really have to meet each other everyday, nor do we text one another 24/7. It’s not like we were close to each other in the first place or anything.
We just know each other. We acknowledge each other’s presence, occasionally indulge in mindless conversations so that it does not get awkward between us.
It is kind of intriguing though. It’s not like I just met them or something, it can be someone I’ve known for 5 years. And some of these people, I was once really close to them, but I guess we kind of gradually drifted apart from one another.
Although they do not really hold a major role in my life, they are like the recurring characters that help to piece the story of my life better.
But I often wonder, why is it that I still hold on to that thin strand of friendship?
Technically, whatever relationship we share is as good as being non-existent. So what’s the point of putting in the effort to keep holding on?
Is it in the hopes that it would get stronger, like it once was? Is it because of my fear of letting go? Or am I just gradually waiting for it to break, after all?
It is strange, but I feel like my life would somehow be incomplete without their recurring presence, albeit their significance to my life at the present moment.
Maybe it is because they somehow are the reason for who I am today. I’m not really sure.
But I’ll be true to myself and say that I often wonder how it would have been if I bothered to put in more effort in getting to know each other better, or perhaps keeping that flame of our companionship alive.